why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
