no, he came in my armpit
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
