i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
