I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im holly from the hills drunk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
