I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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