She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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