Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
