Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
