Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
