.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
