Don't you send me to vm
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
