so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
