Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
