Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You pole danced in your parka.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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