I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
