Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize