Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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