If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
