I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
