she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it because I queefed?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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