yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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