Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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