I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
