By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize