Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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