That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
