btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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