I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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