I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
