Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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