seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize