I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
