when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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