I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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