He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
