I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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