he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
