The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
