its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
tonight lets celebrate not being married
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
