YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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