Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
