Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
