Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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