Can Purell be used as lube?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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