My nipple is on Facebook.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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