I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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