So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
