I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
