Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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