Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
