Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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