Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
