I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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