And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
