bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
