please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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