I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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