so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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